Many people spend years in couples therapy as a means of dealing with relationship issues that could break apart their marriage. But is it necessary?
Perhaps, but before you sign up for therapy, here are a few simple lessons from couples therapy that can help you save your marriage or relationship:
- Be tough, but on yourself — So many of us are critical and harsh of our partner’s mistakes and flaws. If they don’t make the desired progress in their personal problems, we tend to think, “What’s wrong with them?” But when YOU don’t make that progress, you see it as, “It’s a hard thing to change, so it takes time.” It’s funny how we can go easy on ourselves and hard on our partner, when really it should be the other way around. Focus on yourself and the changes YOU need to make, and be hard on yourself. That’s the secret to making progress and seeing real personal growth and development.
- Place the other person as your Number 1 –– Nothing and no one should be more important than your partner. Yes, there will always be work, the kids, your hobbies and interests, your friends, and other things to contend for your attention. But if you want to make the other person feel secure in your relationship, make them the most important thing in your life. Spend time with them before spending time with anyone else. Give them your full attention when they are talking or interacting with you. Treat their problems as genuine, and offer them the help, solutions, or listening ear they want. Treat them the way THEY want to be treated, and you’ll help them to realize that they truly are the most important person in your life.
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