Couples therapy has saved thousands of marriages and relationships from implosion, and it can help to save or improve yours as well!
Here are a few lessons you can take to heart:
- Do something while discussing difficult topics — You know how you often have to discuss issues about money, the kids, work, or interpersonal problems? That’s an important part of married life, but also one of the most difficult. If you have to talk about those problems, do something together while you talk. Clean the kitchen, go on a hike, fold the laundry, pull weeds, or do anything that has a start and a finish. Your conversation will progress along with your activity, and you’ll find that working toward a common goal will help you try to find the solution to your problems. Plus, it will be much easier to keep your cool.
- Take time out if you’re angry — This is something ALL couples should do. It’s hard to think logically and rationally when you’re angry, so don’t even try. Tell your partner that you need a few moments to cool down, and give them a time when you’ll be in a calmer, more rational frame of mind. It’s the best way to avoid escalating an argument into a full-blown fight, and it will help you sort out your feelings.
- Remember that everything is even — Many married couples argue because one partner feels that they are working harder than the other. Well, before you beat that tired drum, remember that the other person does a lot of things you don’t see. Unless they’re literally lying around the house watching TV all day, they’re probably carrying their share of the load, no matter how invisible it may look to your eyes.
Read Part 2 for a few more lessons…
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