Keeping secrets is the wrong choice 99.99% of the time. Why is that?
Simple: it’s all about trust.
The only reason that you feel comfortable around the other person is that you feel you can trust them–with your secrets, with the way you feel, with your emotions, with your vulnerability, and with the things about your past you may not want others to know about. As a couple, you should be keeping each other’s secrets from the world around you.
But when you start keeping secrets from your partner or spouse, it begins to tear down the trust that you have worked so hard to build over the years. Somehow, you know when that person is hiding something from you, and you feel the distance growing between you. When the truth comes out and you discover that the other person really has been hiding something from you, it’s the first nail in the coffin of your relationship.
If you keep secrets from the other person, it basically tells them that you feel they cannot be trusted with whatever it is you are trying to hide from them. And if you can’t trust them with that, logic dictates that there are other things that you cannot trust them with either. Over time, you will develop a resistance to trusting each other, and the minute that happens, the relationship is doomed.
For this reason, DO NOT keep secrets from each other (except for the secrets mentioned in Part 1). Be honest and open with each other, even if it means that you tell the person things that you wouldn’t tell anyone else. Keep that trust alive, and your relationship will stay alive along with it. Without trust, you and your partner have nothing!
Image Source: www.forbes.com