Many people advice against keeping secrets in relationships, as they can tear a solid partnership or marriage apart. But is it wise to sometimes keep secrets?
Studies have shown that no fewer than 20% of people keep secrets from their partner. That means the chances are good that you are keeping something from your partner, and they’re likely keeping something from you.
For the most part, keeping secrets from your partner can be very bad, but there are times when keeping secrets is the right thing to do.
For example, you may not share the same thoughts and opinions on certain matters, but is that any reason for you to open your mouth and tear down your partner? You may want to keep your opinion secret, at least until you can find a way to express your opinions to your partner WITHOUT offending them or tearing them down.
You may feel a certain way about your partner’s actions in the past, but you need to understand the whole truth behind the matter. Until you do, it’s best to keep your feelings to yourself. Otherwise, you may end up exploding at your partner and setting your relationship back, all because you didn’t understand the whole truth of the matter.
Keeping secrets, as a rule, is a pretty bad thing. But when you feel or think something that could harm your marriage or relationship, it’s time to consider keeping that secret. Not forever, but long enough so you can mull over your thoughts and feelings to get a solid handle on them. Once you understand it, it’s easier for you to bring it up to your partner in a way that won’t affect your relationship.
In Part 2, we’ll look at how keeping secrets can tear you apart…